Cultivating Relationships

Hi FBC Family

For the last few weeks, Rose and I have been preparing Cassie, and ourselves, for college life! As I have reminisced about the past 18 years and the numerous milestones we have shared as a family, I thought I would take this edition of TAB and challenge all of us to take some time over the next few weeks to think about ways we can better cultivate the relationships we have with our families.....especially our kids!

Many years ago, I came across an article in Newsweek entitled, "Dear Dads, Save your Sons," by Christopher Bacorn, a psychologist living in Texas. In his article, he tells the story about an anxious mother in her mid-thirties who came to his office with her fifteen year-old son. His dad had left four years before, and since then the teenager had descended into alcohol and gangs. The boy obviously hated being there, but his mother knew nowhere else to go. After attempting for thirty minutes to get the boy to open up and express his feelings, Dr. Bacorn realized it was futile. In his column he wrote:

"I have come to believe that most adolescent boys can't make use of professional counseling....What a boy can use, and all too often doesn't have is the fellowship of men--at least one man who pays attention to him, who spends time with him, who admires him. A boy needs a man he can look up to. What he doesn't need is a shrink.....As a nation, we are racked by youth violence, overrun by gangs, guns and drugs. The greatest majority of youthful offenders are male, most without fathers involved in their lives in any useful way. Many have never even met their fathers."

While the article is specifically directed at father's of boys, having 2 teenager girls and one, who in a couple of years will be a teenager, I can tell you that the same fate awaits girls who grow up with absentee dads. The only difference is that instead of turning to violence and gangs, these girls turn to social media and their boyfriends to replace a missing father. So, while many fathers are being absorbed by their careers or pursuing other interests, their kids are suffering the affects of absentee parents.

Thankfully, there are exceptions and maybe you're one of those dads or moms who is doing an amazing job, if so, THANK YOU! However, we can all do a better job of cultivating healthy relationships within our families. So, here is my question for you to ponder. "What do you do when you have a free day, holiday, or even a few available hours?" Are you tempted to fill this time with "necessary" work projects or spend the whole day golfing or shopping with your friends? Next time you have a choice between family and friends, stop and ask yourself, "Why not spend some quiet time with one of my kids or my spouse or another family member".

As Rose and I take Cassie to school, I'm going to do everything I can to close my mind to church tasks and direct all of my attention to making some lasting memories. I want to leave Utah with no regrets for the last 18 years of being Cassie's dad, knowing that the adventure is only beginning!

Join us this Sunday at 9:00am, as Larry Annes, our church council chairman, concludes our summer series in the book of Philippians. Also, as a reminder, this Sunday from 2:00pm to 6:00pm, THPRD will be hosting Fiesta en el Parque, next to our church. This is a free event that is geared toward the Latino community. El Buen Pastor will be providing volunteer support and FBC has offered about 50 parking spaces. We plan to block off these spaces on Saturday and as such, I want to encourage you to give yourself a little extra time on Sunday, as things could be a little hectic on Erickson Ave.

Finally, our Adults on Mission team will be meeting tomorrow (Wednesday) at 10:30am in the Fireside Room. They will be spending time praying for our missionaries, as well as FBC. Consider joining them.

See you when I get back from Utah!

Pastor Doug